Ignoring stress is a path to burnout: why ‘I can cope with this for a bit longer’ doesn’t work

And the next morning — back to work.

We can live in this rhythm for quite a long time and not even consider it a problem. "It's just a difficult period right now," "once we finish the project, it will get easier," "just this week," "I'm coping fine."

Sometimes we really are coping. The problem begins when tension appears regularly, but the recovery between its waves does not.

That is why the path to burnout often starts not from a critical moment, but from a much more mundane thing — the habit of not noticing our own stress.

Stress itself is not the enemy

Completely removing stress from life is hardly possible. A new project, responsibility, changes, deadlines, a difficult conversation, speaking in front of an audience — all this can create tension.

And this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Short-term load can mobilize us: we concentrate, react faster, and gather resources to solve a specific task. But this system has a second part that is easy to forget.

Tension must be followed by recovery.

A relatively healthy cycle looks like this:

load → tension → completion → recovery → new load

Problems start when it turns into:

load → tension → another load → even more tension → another one...

We keep adding tasks, but we add almost no space for resources to return. And for a while, this actually works. Until the moment it doesn't.

"It will get easier after this"

There is a phrase that many people regularly tell themselves: "I just need to survive this period." Finish the quarter. Deliver the project. Hold the conference. Meet the deadline. Wait for vacation.

The problem isn't the phrase itself. Sometimes there really are intensive periods at work. The problem arises when one "temporary" period imperceptibly transitions into the next.

The project ended — a new one began. After a tough week came an even tougher one. The weekend was spent not recovering, but trying to finish what couldn't be done in five workdays. And gradually, a regimen that was supposed to last two weeks becomes a lifestyle.

It is especially easy for people who are used to being responsible, handling high workloads, and coping well with their tasks to fall into this trap. Because externally, everything might still look great: results are delivered, deadlines are met, the team is happy.

But internally, every new task requires more and more effort.

We get used to the abnormal very quickly

One of the dangerous features of prolonged stress is that you can adapt to it. Not in the sense of "learning to live without consequences," but in the sense of stopping to notice that something has changed.

At first, working in the evening seems like an exception, then — a normal practice. At first, you skip one walk because of a deadline, and then sports, meeting friends, a book, or a hobby increasingly end up in the "when I have time" category.

At first, irritability seems like a reaction to a particularly hard day. Then — just a part of your character.

This is exactly how a new normal is gradually formed:

• constantly being available;
• waking up already tired;
• working through lunch;
• checking messages before sleep;
• postponing rest;
• giving up things that used to give energy;
• automatically answering "yes" to new tasks.

Separately, each of these things might seem like a trifle. Together, they create a system where resources are spent faster than they are replenished.

Why we keep ignoring stress

Not because we don't know the word "burnout." On the contrary, it is talked about a lot. But there is often a huge gap between knowledge and personal experience.

• 1. "Things aren't that bad for me yet"
  We compare our state with the worst possible scenario: I am still working, getting out of bed, completing tasks — therefore, the problem is not serious enough. But waiting for the moment when functioning is already physically difficult is a very high threshold to start making changes.
• 2. "Everyone has a lot of work right now"
  Perhaps. But an equal number of tasks does not mean an equal level of resources. Someone has enough time to recover, team support, and clear boundaries. Someone else is simultaneously going through changes, uncertainty, or a difficult period outside of work. Therefore, the question is not only how many tasks you have, but also how many resources you currently have for them.
• 3. "I have to cope"
  For many, a strong professional identity is tied to the ability to endure: not to complain, not to let people down, to help others, to take on one more task. But the ability to withstand a high workload does not mean it is safe to do so constantly.
• 4. "I'll rest later"
  Recovery is often perceived as a reward. First, you need to complete everything important — and only then can you rest. The problem is that the list of important things almost never ends. And if rest is always placed after the very last task, you might simply never get to it.

What we remove first when there's a lot of work

Paradoxically, it is often exactly what could help us withstand the load: sports, walks, meeting people, creativity, hobbies, alone time, a proper lunch break, an evening without work messages.

These things don't have a deadline, a client, or a red "urgent" tag. Therefore, they are easy to postpone. One more day. One more week. One more difficult month.

And then a strange feeling arises: as if life consists mostly of things you have to do, and there are almost no things left that you want to do. This is an important signal. Not necessarily because you already have burnout, but because the recovery system is gradually disappearing.

Try looking at energy, not the schedule

There is a simple question that started the SkillsUp workshop for the international Women in Tech community:

Not how much there should be. Not how much is needed to close today's task list. But how much there actually is.

The number itself does not diagnose anything, but it helps to notice the dynamics. If today you are at 4 out of 10 — it might just be a hard day. If for several weeks the level constantly stays at 3–4, it is worth asking the next question:

Where is my energy going right now — and where does it return from?

You can even make two simple lists.

And then look honestly: is there any room left for the second list in your week?

Recovery doesn't necessarily mean a vacation

When we talk about exhaustion, the solution is often imagined on a grand scale: needing a vacation, a week by the sea, turning off the phone completely, changing jobs.

Sometimes big changes really are necessary. But prevention works much earlier — at the level of a regular day.

• 01. Don't answer "yes" automatically. A new task does not always require an instant answer. Instead of "Yes, of course," you can say: "I will check my workload and get back to you with an answer." This pause allows you to make decisions not only from the perspective of "can I do this?", but also "at what cost?".
• 02. Take back 15–20 minutes just for yourself. Not for extra studying, not for answering messages, and not for another useful chore. But for something that has no productive goal.
• 03. Identify your energy sources. There is no universal list. For some, recovery is people; for others — on the contrary, the opportunity to be alone. Some are helped by sports, others by drawing, reading, or walking. What matters is not what "should work," but what specifically gives you more resources.
• 04. Set a boundary in at least one place. You don't have to rebuild your whole life in one day. You can pick one specific point: "After 8:00 PM, I do not open the work chat." Or: "I have no work tasks on Saturday." Or: "Before every new task, I check what is already on my list."
• 05. Treat changes as an experiment. Not: "From now on, I will always perfectly balance work and life." But: "I will try doing this for three weeks and see if anything changes." This approach reduces another form of pressure — the need to immediately become the "ideal version of yourself."

Sometimes you don't need another technique

You can know dozens of recovery practices: meditation, breathing exercises, planning, sports, journaling. But if after practicing you return to a system where you work beyond your resources every day, one extra technique is unlikely to solve the problem.

That is why sometimes it is more useful to ask a harder question: What exactly in my way of working constantly creates this tension?

It could be:

• volume of tasks;
• lack of priorities;
• blurred boundaries;
• constant availability;
• the habit of taking responsibility for everything;
• the fear of saying "no";
• the desire to prove your worth through results;
• an environment where overwork has become the norm.

Then dealing with stress is no longer just "how can I recover faster." It is also: "What can I change so I don't have to constantly recover from the exact same thing?"

A small check-up for this week

Try not to wait for a particularly hard day. Take a few minutes and answer these for yourself:

1. What has been creating the most tension for me lately? Not "work in general," but as specifically as possible.
2. What am I doing to compensate for this load? And am I doing anything at all?
3. What of the things that used to give me energy have I stopped doing?
4. What am I enduring right now only because I convince myself: "this is temporary"?
5. What one small change can I test over the next three weeks? Not five. Not a new life system. One.

You don't have to wait for your body to say "stop"

In the first article of this series, we talked about how burnout rarely starts with a sudden "I can't do this anymore." Usually, a longer path leads to this point, and chronic stress can be a part of it.

Not every tension means burnout. Not every hard week requires radical decisions. But if the tension has become constant, recovery has almost disappeared, and a low energy level has turned into the new normal — this is a reason not to wait.

Because the goal is not to learn to endure even more. The goal is to notice in time the moment when the price of this "endurance" becomes too high.

Continue the topic

• 📖 Burnout doesn't start with "I can't do this anymore": how to spot it earlier
  In the first part of the series, we talk about the early signals of burnout, the difference between normal tiredness and accumulated exhaustion, and a simple self-check of your condition. Read the first article →
• 🎓 Want to work with the topic systemically?
  The SkillsUp course "Preventing burnout and boosting the energy and resilience of leaders" helps you understand the mechanisms of stress and burnout, tools for self-diagnosis and self-regulation, and create your own prevention plan. View the course program →